My Name was Supposed to be Elizabeth Ann

If you follow these things like I do, you’ll know the Booker Prize shortlist was announced September 23, and one of the six nominees, Kiran Desai, previously won the prestigious award in 2006. 

I haven’t yet read any of this year’s titles, but I’ve read multiple reviews and so was not surprised by Desai’s inclusion, even though I’ve also not read her winning novel, The Inheritance of Loss. According to a recent New York Times profile¹, that novel took nearly eight years to write. 

Her latest, The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny, took nearly twenty and once reached an astonishing 5000 pages. In its early stages her book had no structure, no center to focus her complex narratives, and she worried she would not ever be able to finish, that her publisher would lose faith. 

Turns out it’s really difficult to write a book. Harder still to write a really good one, even if you’ve written one before and have earned one of the world’s top literary prizes. I mean, I knew that already, but I didn’t understand how difficult and challenging the task, until I set myself that goal back in January. The sheer number of decisions you have to make and evaluate is astronomical, and the process itself can be quite frankly paralyzing.

At least, it has been for me.

So how do you move past those obstacles?

The NYT profile said little about Desai’s daily practice, but I’ll share what’s been working for me.

You know the saying about journeys and steps? Well, that’s been my creative writing year, except my journey has involved lots of backtracking and detouring. I would write toward a scene, then reach a roadblock, then try to devise a workaround, then discover that the workaround led to yet another roadblock on and on, seemingly ad infinitum. Often the reason I found myself  stuck ‘here’ was because I’d derailed my characters ‘there’ or hadn’t laid sufficient groundwork. So I would return to the break in the line–AFTER I’d spent many minutes determining where the break occurred–and I would try to figure out why the ‘whatever’ wasn’t working and how to fix it. Sometimes that meant staring blankly at a wall, and sometimes that meant writing pages of brainstorming notes. Once, that meant rewriting a POV character’s narrative voice from first to third limited because I couldn’t ‘hear’ her anymore, and once that meant reducing my three alternating POV characters to two.

All of which is to say, my progress throughout these nine-ish months is difficult to quantify, other than to say I have made progress. The story is stronger, the characters and their conflicts more rounded and realistic. The plot holes that existed in January have for the most part been plugged, and I do have a complete, though very (very!) rough draft. By that metric alone, I’ve accomplished what I set out to do and I can walk away from it now. I can move on to other projects.

Except, I don’t want to move on to other projects. Not yet. This one refuses to let me, much like Desai’s refused to let her.  Which is not to say I believe my writing on par with hers, or that my story is Booker-worthy. I don’t and it isn’t. I just think I’ve come up with a  pretty cool story and I think you might like it, too. I want to hear what you think.

That said, I am 58 years old. I am a slow writer and I need deadlines and I am not devoting twenty years to this project, even if I knew I had twenty years to devote to this project. Instead, I’m giving myself about eighteen months more, which is about the time I think I need to develop what I’ve written so far into a cohesive, readable, publishable narrative. Which is also about the time I’ll turn 60 (yikes!) and I’m thinking this will be the kind of happy-birthday-to-me present that will take the sting out of that  admittedly startling number. You know, bucket list kind of stuff.

See, I’ve not only always wanted to write a book, I’ve always wanted one published, and that’s what I now intend for this one. Whether that means through traditional means or self-publishing, or even taking a page from one of my favorite Victorians, Charles Dickens, and serializing it here, on my website. I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out. I just want my story out there in the world.

I wonder how much of that desire played a role in Desai’s motivation? She credits others for their support–mentor, mother, and novelist Anita Desai, and financial backing from her publisher and writing residencies–but nowhere does she credit herself. Out loud, at least. At least, not in the profile, or maybe the profile’s author chose not to include such statements. Self-aggrandizement–braggadocio, you know–leaves such a sour taste in the mouth. At least it does in mine.

However, believing in yourself, showing up and doing the work for an end goal maybe only you can see²? I think that’s worth celebrating.  I’m trying, in a small way, to do that here, by sharing my story with you, and I hope that whatever goals you’ve set for yourself you’ll also set aside time to celebrate your milestones.

Meanwhile, I’m working toward my goal nearly every day, and later this month I’ll be sharing a chapter with members of my online writing community, StoryADay’s Superstars, during one of our thrice-yearly Critique Weeks. I’m both excited and nervous. They’ve seen its prologue but nothing from this POV character, and I’m unsure how it will land.

No worries. I’m sure whatever feedback they offer will be tremendously helpful and encouraging, and I know I’ll do my best to reciprocate for them. We’re big on that, over at StoryADay, and I’m grateful.

Stop by next month and I’ll keep you posted!!

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1. ‘She Won the Booker Prize. Then She Disappeared for 20 Years’ by Alexandra Alter. The New York Times,  4 September 2025.
2. Unless, of course, your goal is world domination or the destruction of democracy and basic human decency. Then I say, knock it off. (I say some other words, too, but I won’t repeat them here.)

WHAT I’M READING NOW…

Hubby and I spent some time in NW Pennsylvania recently, and while meandering the historic streets of Titusville I discovered newly opened Fable Tree Bookshop. It’s tiny–about 144 square feet–but cozy and crammed floor to ceiling with books. Fantasy and romance to the right, children’s and young adult to the left. Of course I had to buy something 😀 Of course I’ll have to go back soon!!

I’m also annotating my way through Nexus: A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI by Yuval Noah Harari. Like his Sapiens, Nexus is a thorough, intelligent, and fascinating assessment of human development. I’m definitely taking my time with this one.

WHAT I’M READING NEXT…

Something from last week’s library pile:

RECENT READS AND RECOMMENDATIONS…

Three that have been sitting on my TBR shelf for some time–

Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead. I’m a huge fan, and this one (‘a family saga masquerading as a crime novel’) did not disappoint.

The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese. This too is a family saga, but over three generations. So many characters, so many story lines, but they weave together brilliantly.

The Friend by Sigrid Nunez. ‘A meditation on loss and a celebration of human-canine devotion,’ I’d picked it up on a whim and didn’t think I’d really like it. I loved it. 

And one random library grab–

Under the Stars by Beatriz Williams. An entertaining mix of history, mystery, and family drama–she just tells a good story. Recently, I was a bit under the weather (which is why this is coming to you a bit late) and this one kept me company on my sick-couch.

WHAT I RECENTLY ADDED TO MY TBR SHELF…

See that blue one, second to last? Figured if it was twenty years in the making, the least I could do was buy a copy.

COMING UP NEXT ON MY NAME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ELIZABETH ANN…

Critics, Criticism, and Critique Week: Some Thoughts on Battling Imposter Syndrome

Also, I’m playing around with a new look for my website, which has remained pretty much the same since 2019 when I started. Look for that come January 2026!!

Now You Tell Me…

What is your passion project? What’s on your bucket list? In January, I asked you to share your goals for 2025–How are you making out? I’d love to celebrate with you.

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Thanks for reading! Thanks for sharing! 🙂